A potential causionary statement at NASA

Dont drink and derive.
Courtesy - Arun Nair

Two paths, same outcome : Virtual life and Inefficiency

Q - How does one work really hard at farming, produce a lot of grains and yet not an ounce goes towards alleviating hunger?

A - Store the product in government "storehouses" or Play Farmville.

Eat (Drive) well

Life is short, dont (go) fast.

It is important to have a contingency plan

If you are not able to get your spouse to listen to you by "normal" methods, speak while you sleep.

A Lion would never betray his wife...but a Tiger Wood.
Courtesy - Manu Janardhanan

Self fulfilling prophecy

XYZ bank is doomed. Disseminate this "information" far-and-wide enough, and true will it be.

Cacophony

Your To-do list - When you dont know how to reduce its size.

A sign at some Banglore shop

Customer is King.
King does not bargain.

To love and to hate, both require passion. Period.

Having followers isn't always good

If you are a Human, and somehow manage to get a lot of canine admirers who frantically follow you while on the street, its not a good thing.

Threadbare

When things lay threadbare, make sure you have tools to work with the threads.

Corollary - Dont. ever, dump your PS2 keyboard for a USB one. You never know when you would need them.

Narcissist

One who never looks at the mirror, for the fear of falling in love with himself.

Hand in glove?

Credit card industry is the only one where a person is billed according to not just on payments to the company, but also to its competitors.

Dogma

Responsible for the appearance of canine demeanour in Homo sapiens.

A mention is good enough

Feline presence drives rats, Feminine presence drives men.

Concatenation by heat?

In a bout of temporary rage, the artist threw his temperas.

Peer pressure

When you participate in a rat race just so that you are not defeated by rats

You are either a big loser or irresistible

When the opposite sex tells you they are into a relationship without asking - even when you have not been talking much, and only impersonal talk.

The devil lies in facade

Self-confessed culprits are often not the worst ones around.

Regret in hindsight

When you chide yourself for not having premonitions.

Perspective

Brevity is a virtue, so is verbalism.

Sweet tooth benchmarking

If you are not as excited to join a company as you would to join cadbury, dont join it !

Tide covers a naked rear

Only when the tide goes out, do you discover who had been swimming naked.

Curtesy - A certain Mr. Warren who can afford any Buffet.

Procastination

People procrastinate till the time they can.

I believe in intelligent design

There is no way something as beautiful as women can be a random aggregate of atoms.

Communicate Vs Calculate

The urge to communicate is more "human" than that to calculate.
Does that mean all who calculate are inhuman?

Parenting

Necessity nurtures innovation by being an absentee parent while common sense does the same by being a full time one.

Define: 16

The age beyond which most women refuse to age.

Distress

In times of distress, de-stress.

random_bits_of_lazy_days

I want to just lay down and relax

and someone should bring me soup

and massage my back

Suicide Vs Murder

Narcissism prevents one from committing suicide and law from murder.

Life is a rat race

Rat races are for rats.

M&A

Q) If a merger were to take place between Goldman Sachs and Citigroup, what would the new entity be called?

A) Sachs and the Citi.


Author - Piyush Gahlot. On "The place for Day-a-jokes".

Wife

A wife is like a package trip - Along with the things you want to see, you might see some things that you don't want to.

Dont sit on a seat not vacant yet

Unless you want to give a lap-dance, don't sit on a seat not vacant yet.

Destiny

An unlikely series of improbable events.

classic

A cliche is a cliche for a reason.

Diplomatic immunity

All good diplomats are immune.

All your thoughts and actions are open to comments

Welcome to the facebook world.

Never an enough of keeping in touch

The archaic method of annunciation coupled with wireless technology.

Bullets

The thing about bullet points is that each can potentially be as lethal as its namesake - depending on how it is used - again exactly the same as its namesake.
Guess that is why they are called "bullets".

Do no harm

Do no harm and unnoticed will you go.

Faith

Faith is often about believing in rituals that make no sense - just so that one lands in a place devoid of all rituals.

Best of two worlds

Its human to wish for the best of two worlds.
Its even more human to attempt achieving it.

There is no method to madness

If madness has a method, its not pure.

Its liberating

To know what you did was right because it felt right and no other reason required.

I am the quintessential Bihari

I love Bihari hindi.

Sometimes, Timing is everything.

Its like the whole world falls in place perfectly for something to happen. And when you experience that firsthand, you know what is commonly referred to as "destiny".

मधुशाला

जहाँ कहीं मिल बैठें हम तुम वहीँ हो गयी मधुशाला

Better late than never?

Confusion is but a state of mind.
Deterministic solutions are just a result of mathematical modelling of real situations and do not consider every relevant variable.

Are exact solutions really needed? Life is interesting in the surprises it throws.
Living life is about living it rather than finding the exact decision mix to optimise the resource allocation across activities.

Dreams

I had a dream.

I still have dreams.

I dream therefore I am.

Obscure?

P1:I like it better when its flowing.
without bounds.
without inhibition.
without the fear of what lies ahead.

P2: It is confined for the greater good of mankind.
Let loose, it can cause havoc.