Its time you start talking to people face-to-face when you have an urge to put smileys after your sentences.

Drunken Wisdom

Being drunk is not a state of physical being, it is a state of being absolved of all things petty.

Hallowen and Christmas

 Q: Why do computer scientists get Halloween and Christmas mixed up? A: Because Oct. 31 = Dec. 25 :D  Courtesy - Arun Kumar

Winning over your fear

To be able to defeat fear, you have to first experience it in its entirety. 

To express desire is to expose oneself to an unkind audience.

Lawyer speak, Chinese speak, Japanese Speak

And to someone not a Lawyer/Chinese/Japanese, nothing makes sense.

Life

It is safer to be heartless than mindless.

You don't have to give me some sunshine, nor do you have to give me some rain. Give me some money, and I will manage.

PS - "Give me some sunshine, Give me some rain" is a song thats a raging hit these days.

Q: What do perverts do in Jharkhand?
A: They crack Ranchi jokes.

PS - For the uninitiated, "Ranchi" is the capital of the state of "Jharkhand".
Source Ramkumar Rangamani Aiyengar

Analogy

Having a girl as a friend who really likes you, but not 'that way', is like going on a job interview, and having the guy tell you: 'Wow, this is a great resume. Perfect. We're not going to hire you though. Ever. But is it OK if we call you every once in a while, to complain about the guy that we do hire?

Read somewhere on the internet.

Youth Vs Adults

A common error of youth is mistaking intellect for experience and for adults is mistaking experience for intellect.